Can't stop. [But now he doesn't have to say how much that headbonking means to him. It's familiar, it's safe. It means there's no ill will right now. Only open affection and love for his twin.] Always gonna worry a lil.
[But he notes the ferocity. It's appreciated in that way a leader and strategist can appreciate a tool in a box that has a specific, precision use.]
Hm. [Usefulness. Gratitude for that usefulness. Good. It scratches an itch Donnie never realized troubled him as much as it did. He's helpful. He's capable. His brother recognizes that.
-this is going to complicate just as many problems as it solves, isn't it.] We might want to find a way to block this out, though; or filter it. It's... [A lot. Confusing. He hasn't let go of his brother, though it's less like a hug and more just like them draped over each other.
That's kind of what it feels like, too. Leo's emotions seeping over his sharp edges, smoothing out the scuffs like resin. A strange sort of completion, like it should be uncomfortable but it's not. Less like two halves of a whole and more like...mixing paint to just the right shade.
Donatello can't tell if he likes it. He does know he doesn't hate it.]
[There's the mildest confusion on his part before something else clicks. Of course, Peter.]
Yeah, no offense, but you don't wanna be dealing with a lot of what I'm feeling day to day haha. Sooooo. Okay. Figuring out a filter or block, next step.
[The almost constant thrum of care and affection from Leo takes on a curiously bubbly feel (pink, almost) and Donnie rolls his eyes, standing up and shoving Leo over onto the couch. Annoying lovebirds.]
Yes. That's a good idea. Honestly this isn't anything like what I was expecting, so I'm open to suggestions on how to start.
...why? [There's not even any judgement in his tone, he's just completely flabbergasted. It's not as if he wants his brothers to just be away from him, but when he's by himself with his work, he doesn't feel empty or anything.]
...although, most spaces feel lonely without Mikey in them, [Donnie allows, a small surrender. It doesn't happen often for him (likely not nearly as much for Raph and Leo), but he desperately misses the family baby.]
Mikey is phenomenal at engaging in parallel activity. [SIGHS. The baby brother.] ...and I miss his lasagna. [It was just the right ratio of sauce to noodles to cheese to meat. It was perfect.]
It was the right ratio of sauce to noodles to cheese to meat, perfect.
[He sighs a little, leaning some of his weight on Donnie. It's wrong. They shouldn't have all been separated like this, even if their real bodies are back in Manhattan.]
Gah- Okay. [In about four seconds, Donnie gets a flash - Focus. Gotta focus, he's GOT to get this together. How can he filter his emotions so Donnie only gets the relevant ones? He's already a master at self regulating so if it's just in his own head, it should be easy right? Right, that's just normal, so a mental blockade or whatever those old timey gold digger things were, that'd be more accurate probably, so just picture that and only let the relevant things through- before it abruptly cuts off.]
...I'll keep working on it on my end. [Determination. Confidence.]
[Little slips of emotions (thoughts?) fumble through this new connection like someone tossing in a handful of wet spaghetti. Donnie actually blinks and (just barely) flinches back at how disorienting it is, the small shreds of...panic? No. Disquiet? -that accompany everything else. Like taking a perfectly organized desk drawer and dumping it out to locate one specific item.]
-right. [As quickly as it arrived the multitude is gone, something much more steadfast in its place. It's difficult to separate what he's receiving from his own feelings...not examining how he feels is very much coming to bite him in the ass on this one. Why couldn't he have just gotten the healing bonus Tony got?
Jeez. Mikey would've managed to put everything into order in half a second. In this aspect, Donatello is woefully incompetent. -oh shit. Is Leo getting any of this? No no, he couldn't possibly, Donnie barely even has emotions right? These are just regular ol' non-emotional thoughts.] I mean. I will also work on it.
[Leo watches Donnie, not responding for a minute. But acknowledgement, understanding. That comes through clearly from Leo's side as he smiles and bumps shoulders with him.]
Then their shoulders touch and something like safety blooms through the connection, its origin unknown. Curious. -well, they're here now, and Donnie had proposed making the Bond to experiment anyway, right?
Recalling that nearly overwhelming here, brother is here, brother is close feeling when he'd hugged Leo, Donnie wraps an arm around his twin and pulls him in closer, adjusting his own weight on the couch to get more physically comfortable. On bad days Donnie can't hardly even accept a hand on the shoulder without shuddering, but today is hardly a bad day.
Donnie's never personally felt safer, or more loved, or more cared for when his brothers hug him (not felt really, just acknowledged it intellectually), but Leo isn't like that. Maybe now, like this, Donnie can truly tell if something like this really does help his twin.]
[The relief that further blossoms, ink dropped into water and blooms vividly and without hesitation, is palpable on Leo's side. He loves his brother, loves Donnie. Yeah, he loves all his brothers, but all of them differently, and Donnie is special since dad told them they're the same age. It means the world to him that Donnie asked to do this experiment, that he's willing to try this to help.
So he moves with the tugging, drapes easily across his brother like he lives there and always has.]
[He's very happy about this. Bizarre. This is like. When Donnie finds out that one of his comfort foods can be purchased in bulk and mailed to a PO Box for April to pick up later, despite having been removed from shelves months ago. This is like when he's stuck on a design but then something just clicks and he all of a sudden knows just what to do.]
This, [Donnie answers plainly, though his surprise and wonder is probably seeping through the Bond like a towel too wet. It's like regarding how his brothers feel, he was closed up inside of a box his entire life, with just a few holes to peer out of. Now it's- yes, it's about emotions, about feelings, but it's knowledge, more importantly. He wants to know more. He has to know more.] I didn't realize. I had no idea.
[It's a simple question, and not one he expects the most succinct answer to. Not like this and not from Donnie. All that affection is still dripping through his side of things. And there's a willing openness (to an extent) that's clear. If Donnie asks, he'll probably answer as long as it's not too embarrassing.]
How much you crave physical contact from loved ones. I mean, I knew you did...intellectually. [He knows very many things, and most of them intellectually.] I didn't know you were quite this clingy.
[Is realizing this, with dawning horror] Should we get you a build-a-bear? A build-a-Donnie? I can put soundbytes of my voice in it. -wait even better, I can put a long-range walkie talkie in it.
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[But he notes the ferocity. It's appreciated in that way a leader and strategist can appreciate a tool in a box that has a specific, precision use.]
...Thanks, Dee.
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-this is going to complicate just as many problems as it solves, isn't it.] We might want to find a way to block this out, though; or filter it. It's... [A lot. Confusing. He hasn't let go of his brother, though it's less like a hug and more just like them draped over each other.
That's kind of what it feels like, too. Leo's emotions seeping over his sharp edges, smoothing out the scuffs like resin. A strange sort of completion, like it should be uncomfortable but it's not. Less like two halves of a whole and more like...mixing paint to just the right shade.
Donatello can't tell if he likes it. He does know he doesn't hate it.]
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Yeah, no offense, but you don't wanna be dealing with a lot of what I'm feeling day to day haha. Sooooo. Okay. Figuring out a filter or block, next step.
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Yes. That's a good idea. Honestly this isn't anything like what I was expecting, so I'm open to suggestions on how to start.
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SO much of this is on emotions and instinct, so maybe that's all it takes?
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...I need to ask a question. You may not take it as a personal attack.
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That's already a worrying start. Hit me.
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[Is there another word to use. ...no, unfortunately the perfect word to use is the one he's sure Leo will dislike the most.]
Lonely?
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Kinda. Sometimes, yeah.
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[Why did he feel lonely? No one's asked before.]
I never gave a lot of thought to it, y'know? I don't even really think about it much.
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[He sighs a little, leaning some of his weight on Donnie. It's wrong. They shouldn't have all been separated like this, even if their real bodies are back in Manhattan.]
Gah- Okay. [In about four seconds, Donnie gets a flash - Focus. Gotta focus, he's GOT to get this together. How can he filter his emotions so Donnie only gets the relevant ones? He's already a master at self regulating so if it's just in his own head, it should be easy right? Right, that's just normal, so a mental blockade or whatever those old timey gold digger things were, that'd be more accurate probably, so just picture that and only let the relevant things through- before it abruptly cuts off.]
...I'll keep working on it on my end. [Determination. Confidence.]
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-right. [As quickly as it arrived the multitude is gone, something much more steadfast in its place. It's difficult to separate what he's receiving from his own feelings...not examining how he feels is very much coming to bite him in the ass on this one. Why couldn't he have just gotten the healing bonus Tony got?
Jeez. Mikey would've managed to put everything into order in half a second. In this aspect, Donatello is woefully incompetent. -oh shit. Is Leo getting any of this? No no, he couldn't possibly, Donnie barely even has emotions right? These are just regular ol' non-emotional thoughts.] I mean. I will also work on it.
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We got this.
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Then their shoulders touch and something like safety blooms through the connection, its origin unknown. Curious. -well, they're here now, and Donnie had proposed making the Bond to experiment anyway, right?
Recalling that nearly overwhelming here, brother is here, brother is close feeling when he'd hugged Leo, Donnie wraps an arm around his twin and pulls him in closer, adjusting his own weight on the couch to get more physically comfortable. On bad days Donnie can't hardly even accept a hand on the shoulder without shuddering, but today is hardly a bad day.
Donnie's never personally felt safer, or more loved, or more cared for when his brothers hug him (not felt really, just acknowledged it intellectually), but Leo isn't like that. Maybe now, like this, Donnie can truly tell if something like this really does help his twin.]
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So he moves with the tugging, drapes easily across his brother like he lives there and always has.]
Sssooooo.... what's new?
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This, [Donnie answers plainly, though his surprise and wonder is probably seeping through the Bond like a towel too wet. It's like regarding how his brothers feel, he was closed up inside of a box his entire life, with just a few holes to peer out of. Now it's- yes, it's about emotions, about feelings, but it's knowledge, more importantly. He wants to know more. He has to know more.] I didn't realize. I had no idea.
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[It's a simple question, and not one he expects the most succinct answer to. Not like this and not from Donnie. All that affection is still dripping through his side of things. And there's a willing openness (to an extent) that's clear. If Donnie asks, he'll probably answer as long as it's not too embarrassing.]
Ask me your questions, young one.
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