[ And this Leo very much looks like tired is his main emotion. ]
What can we can do to help you out? I mean, I don't really know what your deal is, I missed the party, but. [ A shrug. Big brother tendencies gonna big brother. ] If there's somethin' you need.
I can't do much from here. I'm just Leo's self doubts. I don't know what's waiting for you, all I know is that he's a little deeper from here. [He gestures at the two open doors behind him.]
I was just put here to slow you guys down. Hunter and Donnie made quick work. [He's smiling a little at that. Proud of them, even if he isn't sure they'll get to Leo. Even if they do, they still have to beat Belos.]
[ Looking proud on main: not at all a super weird experience to be sharing in this moment.
Raph makes a thoughtful noise in the back of his throat. He didn't really have a "personification of Leo's self doubts" mental image handy going into this. Maybe that's on him. It's mindspace stuff. Yet here big Leo stands.
Yep. Feels like cheating. Which maybe isn't the issue in itself as much as it is that he doesn't wanna have to snoop through metaphorical mind stuff and sneak around and interrogate Brain Leos to learn what's been wrong.
He just wants his brother to trust him enough to talk to him about it. (To figure out what he did that made him think he couldn't. But maybe that's too pot and kettle.) ]
I know better than to promise you an early retirement right out the gate. [ From a practicality standpoint. From experience. ] But me and Donnie are gonna be bustin' our butts to free you up a lotta hobby time, so you got that to look forward to.
[Leonardo watches him carefully, taking in Raph's everything... Leo hasn't really talked to Raphael since he ended up in the temple, not really. The last Leo saw of Raph was sending him to catch Donnie and Mikey... He never saw the recovery, he never saw the follow up, his gaze lingering on Raph's eye.
He lets out a shaky breath.]
Don't get what you mean by that but - You guys can probably do it.
Raph doesn't expect to talk an actual manifestation of self-doubt out of doubting any more than someone could talk him out of being a turtle. If he's honest. Sometimes there are little guys in the mind who have a singular very specific feeling or purpose that they handle, and branching out from it isn't part of their setup. Duh.
Still, though. ]
I thought feelin' alone was essential to the economy for a long time, y'know? Just... somethin' I'd always have to live with. But that was wrong. And I think you're wrong. We're not supposed to hurt all the time.
You're here 'cause Leo needs help. And if Leo needs help, he gets help. I don't care if it's hard or not.
[ Does he wish punching stuff very hard would fix self-doubt and make him magically completely understand exactly what his little brother needs the most? Sure. But lacking that, he at least knows he's more than stubborn enough to not quit trying. ]
[The audacity of this guy!!! But Leonardo lets that happen, because... Because it's Raphael. Leonardo hasn't seen Raph and now it's like this.
Even though he doesn't agree. By his own existence like this, he can't agree with what he's saying, about not supposed to be hurting. He wishes he could put a hand on his shoulder or something.]
He doesn't know you're coming but... Yeah. He needs help.
I wish I could tell you what's up there, I just know it's bad.
[ Raph would like to think Leo knows they're coming. Just not that they're here right now. He'd like to think it hasn't gotten that bad off.
Meanwhile even very tall old man mind construct for doubt half- Belos slime Leo wishes he could help them out. Another day, another proof that his little brothers are little shits but also ultimately very good kids. ]
Don't worry about it. I mean, you're gonna worry about it. We're just not holdin' it against you. [ So THERE. ] Alright, I gotta go herd some cats and purify a demon, buddy. Anything I can do for you first? Hug? Throw a big rock at one of those screens?
[He's been trying. It feels like he's been trying for so long, but he's only been leader for a few months and he still messed it all up from the start.
Leonardo looks at Raphael, considering. He's afraid to touch him with this goop, seeing as Raph has been de-Krangified, he doesn't want to risk it. But he doesn't know when Leo will ever really feel up for hugging his brother with his own body given the whole situation.
He looks down at the space between them, then at Raph before opening one arm out.]
But at the words, he goes completely still. While he doesn't like. Need to breathe in here, it feels like his breath catches somewhere in his throat on the way up and out. And as the words start to sink in, that goop ...recedes a little. Slowly, but it lessens its hold on him.
What is Raph even proud of? He's done nothing since being made leader except screw up, nearly get humanity destroyed, and oh yeah got his brothers all injured and traumatized.]
Love you too, Raph. Just... Take it easy, when you get to him.
[ Love was the answer all along, he knew it. He didn't know it. He's just full of very aggressive feelings. It makes sense that this Belos guy's deal would be basically allergic to stuff like honesty and support and love, though.
Raph wants a lot of things right now. They range from hovering over his brothers like a guard dog to doing some actual murder on Belos to asking very specific questions about where he messed up with Leo in the first place.
Maybe to cry until his head hurts and take a couple of hours to just sorta wallow in it. He's not too into that vibe normally. Checking out on his brothers. He doesn't do that. But there's a little appeal.
His wants are all pretty self-serving in this economy, he can admit that.
Later problems.
Raph exhales, halfway to a chuckle. ]
At least you already know you guys don't deserve a hard time.
[ He's still trying to wrap his brain around the you vs him terminology of chilling with a manifestation fragment guy.
Leo and Donnie about to be in baby mode until they hit their thirties though tbh. ]
[This Leonardo can't really tell what Raph is thinking. A little too lost in what he is to be able to sort through the tells Raph always has.
But the chuckle is good right.]
Do we?
[He isn't sure what Raph means. Not really, not fully. Leo caused so much damage by not listening, he went out of his way to make Raph angry hoping he'd take the spot back, he nearly got them all killed (nevermind the whole. Universe. Problem.) Why wouldn't he deserve a hard time? Even after all of this whole situation.]
I'll give you some leeway on this one 'cause I know you're just doin' your job right now. But lemme make my stance clear, brother.
[ Things he is also saying for his own benefit, as a reminder that this part of Leo is Made Of Doubts. The opposite of trust and faith and and going easy and what have you.
Raph, king of multitasking. ]
If you don't know it? You're gonna hear it until you do know. Whatever wires you and me got crossed? We're gettin' those uncrossed. 'cause if any of you guys think for a second that you aren't everything, that means I got stuff to apologize for. I don't want you gone. I don't want you hurt. Ever. End of story. No matter what goes down.
[ The fact that Donnie and Leo are both so messed up about stuff... it simply cannot stand. He can't even check in with Mikey in this place! Reality is committing crimes on him personally.
Not sure if threat or pep talk. ]
Also if that Raph action figure in your brain room looks at me funny one more time before we get outta here, I'm gonna chew on him. He can't take me.
[Big Boy Leonardo here watches him, taken a little aback by it. He can't like. Pat his shoulder or anything to reassure, nothing to console. But he can at least tell Raphael is serious about this.
Where had the wires gotten crossed? Was it that night with the Krang Key? Or was it before, when Splinter outright made him leader? Had it been earlier than that? Leo had thought during the confrontation with Shredder they'd worked things out. But then Leo had to be Leo about everything.]
You're definitely going to have to remind me. Real me, if you can get me free.
But for what it's worth? ...Thanks. It'll do good to hear it.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Re: 2nd - BATTLE NEXUS NYC
[ And this Leo very much looks like tired is his main emotion. ]
What can we can do to help you out? I mean, I don't really know what your deal is, I missed the party, but. [ A shrug. Big brother tendencies gonna big brother. ] If there's somethin' you need.
Re: 2nd - BATTLE NEXUS NYC
I can't do much from here. I'm just Leo's self doubts. I don't know what's waiting for you, all I know is that he's a little deeper from here. [He gestures at the two open doors behind him.]
Re: 2nd - BATTLE NEXUS NYC
[ It's not like Raph's Leo radar was kicking in, after all.
He takes a little pause, though. Tilts his head. ]
Self doubts, huh.
Re: 2nd - BATTLE NEXUS NYC
Yeah. A lot of 'em.
Re: 2nd - BATTLE NEXUS NYC
Raph makes a thoughtful noise in the back of his throat. He didn't really have a "personification of Leo's self doubts" mental image handy going into this. Maybe that's on him. It's mindspace stuff. Yet here big Leo stands.
Yep. Feels like cheating. Which maybe isn't the issue in itself as much as it is that he doesn't wanna have to snoop through metaphorical mind stuff and sneak around and interrogate Brain Leos to learn what's been wrong.
He just wants his brother to trust him enough to talk to him about it. (To figure out what he did that made him think he couldn't. But maybe that's too pot and kettle.) ]
I know better than to promise you an early retirement right out the gate. [ From a practicality standpoint. From experience. ] But me and Donnie are gonna be bustin' our butts to free you up a lotta hobby time, so you got that to look forward to.
Re: 2nd - BATTLE NEXUS NYC
He lets out a shaky breath.]
Don't get what you mean by that but - You guys can probably do it.
Re: 2nd - BATTLE NEXUS NYC
EYEBALL SITUATION NOT RELEVANT, SOURCE: Raph. ]
I'm sayin' if you're his self doubt then you're fired. In a tactful and respectful corporate fashion.
[ Raph's mental file folder of management listicle tidbits lives on. ]
Re: 2nd - BATTLE NEXUS NYC
He blinks confused at that. He's still tired, still worn and hopeless but-]
Kinda hard to do that. Essential to the economy here and all.
Re: 2nd - BATTLE NEXUS NYC
Raph doesn't expect to talk an actual manifestation of self-doubt out of doubting any more than someone could talk him out of being a turtle. If he's honest. Sometimes there are little guys in the mind who have a singular very specific feeling or purpose that they handle, and branching out from it isn't part of their setup. Duh.
Still, though. ]
I thought feelin' alone was essential to the economy for a long time, y'know? Just... somethin' I'd always have to live with. But that was wrong. And I think you're wrong. We're not supposed to hurt all the time.
You're here 'cause Leo needs help. And if Leo needs help, he gets help. I don't care if it's hard or not.
[ Does he wish punching stuff very hard would fix self-doubt and make him magically completely understand exactly what his little brother needs the most? Sure. But lacking that, he at least knows he's more than stubborn enough to not quit trying. ]
Re: 2nd - BATTLE NEXUS NYC
Even though he doesn't agree. By his own existence like this, he can't agree with what he's saying, about not supposed to be hurting. He wishes he could put a hand on his shoulder or something.]
He doesn't know you're coming but... Yeah. He needs help.
I wish I could tell you what's up there, I just know it's bad.
Re: 2nd - BATTLE NEXUS NYC
Meanwhile even very tall old man mind construct for doubt half- Belos slime Leo wishes he could help them out. Another day, another proof that his little brothers are little shits but also ultimately very good kids. ]
Don't worry about it. I mean, you're gonna worry about it. We're just not holdin' it against you. [ So THERE. ] Alright, I gotta go herd some cats and purify a demon, buddy. Anything I can do for you first? Hug? Throw a big rock at one of those screens?
[ He's open. ]
Re: 2nd - BATTLE NEXUS NYC
Leonardo looks at Raphael, considering. He's afraid to touch him with this goop, seeing as Raph has been de-Krangified, he doesn't want to risk it. But he doesn't know when Leo will ever really feel up for hugging his brother with his own body given the whole situation.
He looks down at the space between them, then at Raph before opening one arm out.]
Bring it in. Just- careful.
Re: 2nd - BATTLE NEXUS NYC
Also boo being careful boooooo. In Raph's heart? He is always hugging recklessly. With his arms, though, he will bring it in carefully.
Since this is (for the time being, the foreseeable future) a part of Leo making that request. ]
I love you. I'm proud of you. I'm gonna run that up the chain until the head Leo in charge gets it.
Re: 2nd - BATTLE NEXUS NYC
But at the words, he goes completely still. While he doesn't like. Need to breathe in here, it feels like his breath catches somewhere in his throat on the way up and out. And as the words start to sink in, that goop ...recedes a little. Slowly, but it lessens its hold on him.
What is Raph even proud of? He's done nothing since being made leader except screw up, nearly get humanity destroyed, and oh yeah got his brothers all injured and traumatized.]
Love you too, Raph. Just... Take it easy, when you get to him.
Re: 2nd - BATTLE NEXUS NYC
Raph wants a lot of things right now. They range from hovering over his brothers like a guard dog to doing some actual murder on Belos to asking very specific questions about where he messed up with Leo in the first place.
Maybe to cry until his head hurts and take a couple of hours to just sorta wallow in it. He's not too into that vibe normally. Checking out on his brothers. He doesn't do that. But there's a little appeal.
His wants are all pretty self-serving in this economy, he can admit that.
Later problems.
Raph exhales, halfway to a chuckle. ]
At least you already know you guys don't deserve a hard time.
[ He's still trying to wrap his brain around the you vs him terminology of chilling with a manifestation fragment guy.
Leo and Donnie about to be in baby mode until they hit their thirties though tbh. ]
Re: 2nd - BATTLE NEXUS NYC
But the chuckle is good right.]
Do we?
[He isn't sure what Raph means. Not really, not fully. Leo caused so much damage by not listening, he went out of his way to make Raph angry hoping he'd take the spot back, he nearly got them all killed (nevermind the whole. Universe. Problem.) Why wouldn't he deserve a hard time? Even after all of this whole situation.]
Re: 2nd - BATTLE NEXUS NYC
[ Things he is also saying for his own benefit, as a reminder that this part of Leo is Made Of Doubts. The opposite of trust and faith and and going easy and what have you.
Raph, king of multitasking. ]
If you don't know it? You're gonna hear it until you do know. Whatever wires you and me got crossed? We're gettin' those uncrossed. 'cause if any of you guys think for a second that you aren't everything, that means I got stuff to apologize for. I don't want you gone. I don't want you hurt. Ever. End of story. No matter what goes down.
[ The fact that Donnie and Leo are both so messed up about stuff... it simply cannot stand. He can't even check in with Mikey in this place! Reality is committing crimes on him personally.
Not sure if threat or pep talk. ]
Also if that Raph action figure in your brain room looks at me funny one more time before we get outta here, I'm gonna chew on him. He can't take me.
Re: 2nd - BATTLE NEXUS NYC
Where had the wires gotten crossed? Was it that night with the Krang Key? Or was it before, when Splinter outright made him leader? Had it been earlier than that? Leo had thought during the confrontation with Shredder they'd worked things out. But then Leo had to be Leo about everything.]
You're definitely going to have to remind me. Real me, if you can get me free.
But for what it's worth? ...Thanks. It'll do good to hear it.
Re: 2nd - BATTLE NEXUS NYC
[ Patting Big Leo on the head for good measure. ]
I should know. I'm from the future and I ain't scared of the work.
Re: 2nd - BATTLE NEXUS NYC
He'll be glad to hear it.