[There are a million things he wants to say, all of it feels jumbled and tangled together. He goes through the motions of getting things set up on the bed. He's glad to have something to do with his hands.]
When this stuff has calmed down, by a lot. I do wanna talk about this kind of thing. My communication problems. [He's honest about that being something he needs to work on.] I just- I'm worried about you too.
[He pauses getting the pillow case on a pillow, staring at the fabric of the bed in front of him for a moment. Just... Rolling that over in his mind.
A part of him is still mad. But it isn't solely at Peter, isn't entirely on him.]
Think I need to work on some stuff too. [Just drops the pillow on the bed. But Leo hesitates, not something he usually does. But his entire body aches with just this short exertion. When he breaks the silence, his voice is so quiet.]
[Peter moves to sit on the bed, not caring it's not all the way done. He just pats the mattress next to him to invite Leo if he wants to sit with Peter.]
I told your brothers like a short summary, enough they kinda knew, but I wanted to tell everyone at once when you were feeling- more okay.
You were... so out of it for so long. I was afraid of making things worse by telling you. Making you worried about me while you were still recovering.
[He doesn't sit, not really. He should, his legs are so sore and aching the longer he's up. But all he can think about is how everyone knew but him. All the sideways glances, all the knowing looks and he couldn't figure out what it was about.]
I know. I'm sorry I should have told you way sooner. [He drops his hands into his lap, frowning openly.
Both of them are a little calmer now, so the conversation isn't as fraught with a million other things happening at once. They can actually figure things out.]
Apologizing doesn't excuse me for not telling you. I just... [He struggles to get his thoughts together.] I know I messed up. I didn't want to ignore that part.
Then sighs quietly, crouching down in front of him and resting his chin on the edge of the bed. Like a sad puppy. He knows they need to work this out. This long together, their ninpo tied together.... If things go badly now, he likely won't ever get another shot with anyone else like this. He knows it's always going to be Peter.]
...I'm sorry I couldn't tell you more about what was happening here either.
We'll talk with Donnie and see if we can like, get one set up. Something we'll all use for emergencies. Not just the group chat. [The group chat wasn't the most reliable if someone lost their phone or had it on mute.]
[Does he want to? He does want to lay there with him. But moving is painful, and even as he feels every single injury creak and spasm the whole way up, it's worth it if he can feel Peter in his arms for a brief time.
[Peter readily shifts to lean into Leo's hold, loosely wrapping his arms around his boyfriend.] Maybe you should just stay here for a while...? It might help with some of the soreness?
[But it's good to be cuddling with him, good to have Peter in his arms, held close to his plastron and real. Not a manifestation of smoke and dream, fit to disappear if he breathed too closely.]
I don't wanna lose you either. [He says readily, just gently holding Leo close.
Peter can feel himself tearing up a little, overwhelmed by a rush of too many feelings all at once. With just how much he loves his boyfriend. How afraid he is of Leo disappearing, dying.]
[Peter exhales softly, his eyes closing as he lets his fingers drift across his boyfriend's shell very carefully.] We'll make it happen. Even if its gonna probably be hard.
[Peter shifts just enough so Leo can lay on him a little if he likes. The teenager honestly figures his body heat might help with some of the soreness.] For now, hopefully, I'm just warm enough.
Suprise, you've fallen into my web. Now I'll just hold you here forever. [He says whilst Leo is laying on him and could get up at any time he wants. Peter just gives him a quick peck.]
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When this stuff has calmed down, by a lot. I do wanna talk about this kind of thing. My communication problems. [He's honest about that being something he needs to work on.] I just- I'm worried about you too.
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A part of him is still mad. But it isn't solely at Peter, isn't entirely on him.]
Think I need to work on some stuff too. [Just drops the pillow on the bed. But Leo hesitates, not something he usually does. But his entire body aches with just this short exertion. When he breaks the silence, his voice is so quiet.]
....Why did everyone else know but me?
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I told your brothers like a short summary, enough they kinda knew, but I wanted to tell everyone at once when you were feeling- more okay.
You were... so out of it for so long. I was afraid of making things worse by telling you. Making you worried about me while you were still recovering.
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...I still would've wanted to know.
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Both of them are a little calmer now, so the conversation isn't as fraught with a million other things happening at once. They can actually figure things out.]
Apologizing doesn't excuse me for not telling you. I just... [He struggles to get his thoughts together.] I know I messed up. I didn't want to ignore that part.
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Then sighs quietly, crouching down in front of him and resting his chin on the edge of the bed. Like a sad puppy. He knows they need to work this out. This long together, their ninpo tied together.... If things go badly now, he likely won't ever get another shot with anyone else like this. He knows it's always going to be Peter.]
...I'm sorry I couldn't tell you more about what was happening here either.
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I love you. [He says that genuinely, readily.] I don't want you to be out of the loop again. Not when we're in the middle of so much... craziness.
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But there is no hesitation or stalling his response:] I love you too. I- ... yeah. Really should set up some kind of messaging system or something.
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[He sighs watching him from where his chin rests on the bed. Sitting like this is going to fuck up his ribs, his side. He doesn't care.]
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Lay with me... for a second at least?
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He crawls onto the bed and reaches out for him.]
Still kinda sore, but. 'm here.
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[But it's good to be cuddling with him, good to have Peter in his arms, held close to his plastron and real. Not a manifestation of smoke and dream, fit to disappear if he breathed too closely.]
...Don't wanna lose you.
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Peter can feel himself tearing up a little, overwhelmed by a rush of too many feelings all at once. With just how much he loves his boyfriend. How afraid he is of Leo disappearing, dying.]
I want this to be forever.
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He tucks his face in against Peter's neck, closing his eyes.]
Same. Same for me.
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[He's sixteen and scared, let him deflect with some off-color humor.]
You sure about that?
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Well. I've made you hard before, so.
Yeah.
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Yeah. That's a superpower all right.
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Mmmmm yeah, you are. It's great.
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