[Peter carefully moves to sit on the edge of the bed, close but not invading Leo's space badly enough to make the situation worse.
Peter was both prepared for this, and not prepared for this. He knew Leo would naturally panic. Anyone would.
He just didn't expect his husband to seemingly shut down.
He pulls gently at their connection, trying to pour reassurance and warmth there between them. Just to try and ease the obvious panic and terror. He wants to help ground his spouse where he can.]
Breath, Leo, breath. [He can guess his words will fall on deaf ears, but it feels better to say something.]
[I am, he tries to say. It just comes out as a breathless wheeze. He feels the connection tugging, and he clings to it like a lifeline. Panic and pain and terror of what's going to happen to him, how is he supposed to lead like this filter through from his side of the ninpo. There are hot tears down his cheeks and he can't stop those.
He's so sure he's screaming, but his voice is barely a whisper.] Peter- Peter-
I'm right here. [Peter opens their connection further, just letting the magic of the family ninpo pool between them. What he does feel through their connection just makes Peter's breath shake slightly.
Anything Peter could say feels useless, empty. It catches in the back of his throat as he forces himself to stay steady.
He shifts closer, just trying to carefully pull Leo against him. Angling himself to the turtle's uninjured side. He'll be yelled at by one of the medics for it later, but he doesn't care. He's being careful, he's also trying to ground Leo in some capacity.]
I'm right here, I'm right here. We're going to be okay. You're going to be okay. [Peter believes it, believes it deeply, even if things aren't going to be easy for them.]
[Peter shifts closer, and Leo lets go of his hand only to wrap his arm around him as tight as he can. He clings to Peter, burying his face into his shoulder. He's still having trouble getting his breath, but the tears have started and don't show any sign of stopping. He's trembling holding Peter.
The way he shifts, Peter can probably tell he keeps instinctively trying to hug with his right arm but can't. It's just... Gone. And each time is like a fresh wave of realization.]
[Gentle soothing sounds escape Peter as he carefully holds Leo against him. Well aware to keep his arm away from the injury. The sounds die off into something low, a vibration Leo can likely feel more than hear.
He can tell Leo just wants to use the arm that is gone, and it makes the situation all the worse.
Peter just presses a kiss against the side of his husband's face.]
[He can't stop the tears. He just can't now that it's started. The panic's wearing him out gradually, his grip on his husband slowly loosening as he slumps heavier against him.
But the on call medic pokes her head in through the curtain. He sees the situation and steps in, hand on Peter's shoulder.]
Please step back, we need to check him over. [And he gestures to the monitors, going absolutely haywire with Leo's reactions.]
[Leo slumping against him, exhaustion over taking the panic, doesn't make Peter feel any better. He hates how powerless he feels here. How little he can actively do to help.
He just holds onto Leo carefully a moment longer, swallowing back his own urge to cry. He has no right to cry. He has no right to be upset.
Peter gingerly starts to settle Leo back when the medic makes her presence known. Peter makes sure Leo is laid down again before he looks at the medic.
He has to swallow down an unfair anger that rises to the surface. A need to lash out against someone whose an easier target than the situation they are actually in. The medic is just doing her job. She's taking care of Leo. Peter just nods stiffly in turn.]
...Alright.
[He moves back off of the bed, just forced back as he tries to center himself.]
[One medic starts looking Leo over, checking his vitals. The other watches Peter before checking his IV and changing the bags before looking at Peter. The poor man looks terrible, even as Leo is still trying to reach for him.
She keeps her voice quiet but it's clear she understands.]
I'm sorry, but we have to ask you to step out of the infirmary for now. We'll let you know when he can have visitors again.
[Seeing Leo reaching for him is enough for Peter to reach out as well, but he's drawn to a stop by the medic's words. His gaze flicks back to her.
He opens and closes his mouth, his teeth click together audibly. Peter just barely manages to conceal the weight those words put onto him.
He wants to stay, he needs to, Leo needs him.
He's making this worse.]
Right. Just... call me when he's cleared.
[He makes a point to reach out, touching Leo's hand, be it briefly before he draws back. He moves past the curtain, feeling adrift.
He ends up wandering the halls in a daze, unfocused and unsteady. He holds onto his connection with Leo. The brunette puts too much of his healing into their connection, just trying.]
[The clean up from the rioting is still ongoing, though it is mostly finished in the hallways closer to the infirmary. It's a sort of manufactured quiet, like everyone waiting for something else holding their breath.
The base knows something happened. They know Commander Leonardo was injured. But as far as anyone knew outside the medical staff and the Hamatos, no one knew anything. He could be dead for all they know.
But Mikey comes bounding around a corner and stops when he sees Peter. Eyes wide, he takes a breath before stepping up.]
[The physical contact is enough to loosen Peter up slightly. He closes his eyes for a moment, just trying to take solace from Mikey's comfort.
It doesn't change his want, almost need to just disappear. He doesn't have the right to be so tired, much less cry. Leo is coping with the actual loss.]
I don't have a lot of options but to be okay right now.
[Later, Peter might realize giving so much of his healing factor, of his strength, over to Leo through their ninpo for several hours was additionally why he felt so wrung out.]
I think you've got the option right now. Nobody's expecting you anywhere so ...Scream. Shout, whateeeeever you gotta do.
[And he means that. He lifts one hand away from Peter just to give it a wave. Orange mystics swirl from his finger like it did for Casey's ears, wrapping them in a decently sized orange ball.]
Nobody here but you, me, and D's recording which when he listens he'll probably wanna cut this off. It'll either be loud or emotional or both.
[He watches the magic with a tired kind of exhale. He is tempted to let go, but he also feels like he can't. He has to hold on, he needs to.]
Mikey, if I let go now, I probably won't have it together when Leo needs me. [If there is one thing the Hamato family discovered was the fact Peter and Leo are both doggedly stubborn about putting everyone else first. The apparent end of the world had only made things worse in many ways.]
[It certainly did. Mikey just tilts his head watching him in that way that says I know you better than you realize and know what you need versus what you'll say kind of thing.]
You've got a while before you have to be together for him. You can let yourself talk things out or feel whatever you need in the meantime.
I'm just tired, Mikey. There isn't... a lot I can even do about that. [He pinches the bridge of his nose, trying to stay grounded. He needs to get himself focused again.
Years of doing this meant it was second nature at this point to just bury everything he was feeling so everyone else could be okay. If he was scared or upset, it would just make Leo feel worse. His husband didn't need that.]
How I'm feeling, is really not as important right now. So, I need to- just keep everything together.
[God. All of it is so fucked. Mikey knows this can't last.]
What you're doing isn't sustainable either, Peter. If you're going to support him, you need a strong foundation too. And if you're just bottling all of it up, then.... What happens when you fall apart too?
[He can't even look at Mikey right now, just pressing his fist more tightly against his forehead. The hand shakes where it rests, and he can't quite stop it.
His lips press into a thin unhappy line. He doesn't want to hurt Mikey, he doesn't want to make this any harder on any of them.]
Shitty, like this whole war? [He questions weakly back, trying to just push away from all of this.] I just can't let go. I can't...
[Mikey carefully touches his hand to Peter's, other hand moving to pull Peter down for a hug. A loose embrace but pulsing his ninpo, warm and gentle wrapping Peter's and shoving reassurance, love through his ninpo.]
Leo isn't going anywhere. He's in the hands of professionals looking after him and you have nowhere else to be until Leo's recovered.
[He has an excuse or two on the tip of his tongue, ready to try and leave.
Then Mikey's careful touch settles against his hand, and he pulls the brunette into a loose but gentle hug. The warmth of Mikey's ninpo curling around him, the reassurance and love, knocks every bit of strategy out of his mind.
His breath shakes as he closes his eyes tightly. Tears threaten to spill over as he hesitantly wraps his arms around Mikey. He's still afraid to let go, afraid of what happens if he can't pull himself back together quickly enough.]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Peter was both prepared for this, and not prepared for this. He knew Leo would naturally panic. Anyone would.
He just didn't expect his husband to seemingly shut down.
He pulls gently at their connection, trying to pour reassurance and warmth there between them. Just to try and ease the obvious panic and terror. He wants to help ground his spouse where he can.]
Breath, Leo, breath. [He can guess his words will fall on deaf ears, but it feels better to say something.]
no subject
He's so sure he's screaming, but his voice is barely a whisper.] Peter- Peter-
no subject
Anything Peter could say feels useless, empty. It catches in the back of his throat as he forces himself to stay steady.
He shifts closer, just trying to carefully pull Leo against him. Angling himself to the turtle's uninjured side. He'll be yelled at by one of the medics for it later, but he doesn't care. He's being careful, he's also trying to ground Leo in some capacity.]
I'm right here, I'm right here. We're going to be okay. You're going to be okay. [Peter believes it, believes it deeply, even if things aren't going to be easy for them.]
no subject
The way he shifts, Peter can probably tell he keeps instinctively trying to hug with his right arm but can't. It's just... Gone. And each time is like a fresh wave of realization.]
no subject
He can tell Leo just wants to use the arm that is gone, and it makes the situation all the worse.
Peter just presses a kiss against the side of his husband's face.]
I got you. I got you. I promise.
no subject
But the on call medic pokes her head in through the curtain. He sees the situation and steps in, hand on Peter's shoulder.]
Please step back, we need to check him over. [And he gestures to the monitors, going absolutely haywire with Leo's reactions.]
no subject
He just holds onto Leo carefully a moment longer, swallowing back his own urge to cry. He has no right to cry. He has no right to be upset.
Peter gingerly starts to settle Leo back when the medic makes her presence known. Peter makes sure Leo is laid down again before he looks at the medic.
He has to swallow down an unfair anger that rises to the surface. A need to lash out against someone whose an easier target than the situation they are actually in. The medic is just doing her job. She's taking care of Leo. Peter just nods stiffly in turn.]
...Alright.
[He moves back off of the bed, just forced back as he tries to center himself.]
no subject
She keeps her voice quiet but it's clear she understands.]
I'm sorry, but we have to ask you to step out of the infirmary for now. We'll let you know when he can have visitors again.
no subject
He opens and closes his mouth, his teeth click together audibly. Peter just barely manages to conceal the weight those words put onto him.
He wants to stay, he needs to, Leo needs him.
He's making this worse.]
Right. Just... call me when he's cleared.
[He makes a point to reach out, touching Leo's hand, be it briefly before he draws back. He moves past the curtain, feeling adrift.
He ends up wandering the halls in a daze, unfocused and unsteady. He holds onto his connection with Leo. The brunette puts too much of his healing into their connection, just trying.]
no subject
The base knows something happened. They know Commander Leonardo was injured. But as far as anyone knew outside the medical staff and the Hamatos, no one knew anything. He could be dead for all they know.
But Mikey comes bounding around a corner and stops when he sees Peter. Eyes wide, he takes a breath before stepping up.]
Hey- Peter... How is he? Is he awake yet?
no subject
He sticks to the floor, finding it comforting. It grounds him.]
He, did. He woke up for a little bit. [He drags a hand through his hair tiredly.] He's not- he's hurting, and didn't take the news well.
no subject
But he can see the rest there too. How drained Peter is from just that one interaction, knowing Leo is hurting.
(He can feel it, just on the edge of the family ninpo. Mikey aches to help.)
He looks around before carefully touching at Peter's arm to guide him to the nearest meeting room and closes the door for some privacy.]
And how are you?
no subject
He still feels a little distant from himself, but he's present enough to at least pretend everything is decent. He can do that much.]
I'm okay. Could be better. [He answers quietly back, loosely cross his arms over his chest.]
no subject
Think we all could be, but you don't have to be okay right now if you don't want to.
no subject
It doesn't change his want, almost need to just disappear. He doesn't have the right to be so tired, much less cry. Leo is coping with the actual loss.]
I don't have a lot of options but to be okay right now.
[Later, Peter might realize giving so much of his healing factor, of his strength, over to Leo through their ninpo for several hours was additionally why he felt so wrung out.]
no subject
[And he means that. He lifts one hand away from Peter just to give it a wave. Orange mystics swirl from his finger like it did for Casey's ears, wrapping them in a decently sized orange ball.]
Nobody here but you, me, and D's recording which when he listens he'll probably wanna cut this off. It'll either be loud or emotional or both.
no subject
Mikey, if I let go now, I probably won't have it together when Leo needs me. [If there is one thing the Hamato family discovered was the fact Peter and Leo are both doggedly stubborn about putting everyone else first. The apparent end of the world had only made things worse in many ways.]
no subject
You've got a while before you have to be together for him. You can let yourself talk things out or feel whatever you need in the meantime.
no subject
Years of doing this meant it was second nature at this point to just bury everything he was feeling so everyone else could be okay. If he was scared or upset, it would just make Leo feel worse. His husband didn't need that.]
How I'm feeling, is really not as important right now. So, I need to- just keep everything together.
no subject
What you're doing isn't sustainable either, Peter. If you're going to support him, you need a strong foundation too. And if you're just bottling all of it up, then.... What happens when you fall apart too?
no subject
Mikey, I don't get the option to fall apart. That hasn't been an option in a decade. It won't be an option until the war ends.
no subject
no subject
His lips press into a thin unhappy line. He doesn't want to hurt Mikey, he doesn't want to make this any harder on any of them.]
Shitty, like this whole war? [He questions weakly back, trying to just push away from all of this.] I just can't let go. I can't...
no subject
Leo isn't going anywhere. He's in the hands of professionals looking after him and you have nowhere else to be until Leo's recovered.
no subject
Then Mikey's careful touch settles against his hand, and he pulls the brunette into a loose but gentle hug. The warmth of Mikey's ninpo curling around him, the reassurance and love, knocks every bit of strategy out of his mind.
His breath shakes as he closes his eyes tightly. Tears threaten to spill over as he hesitantly wraps his arms around Mikey. He's still afraid to let go, afraid of what happens if he can't pull himself back together quickly enough.]
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)